Thoughts from awhile back

I always thought when I reached this moment in my life..I would be nervous, scared, worried about making the wrong decision. My entire life I have dreaded making decisions, little ones, but most definately bigger ones..deciding where to go to college was horrible, there were so many places..but I eventually realized that it really didn't matter. People say picking the person you are going to be with for the rest of your life is the most difficult decision you will ever make the one with the most possibilities for heartache if the wrong decision is made..you would think that out of all the decisions I've had to make that I've dreaded making this one would be the hardest..but it was quite the contrary..it was by far the easiest decision I have ever made...and I am so lucky to have to opportunity to choose who I did..You see at every doubtful and insecure moment somehow he knew exactly what to say...in the past when friends have told me to "just get over" being upset about things he knew exactly what I needed to hear to be able to let go of things I needed to let go of..and to think more about things I wasn't paying enough attention to. I know that with him I will never have to worry about dishonesty or any of those silly things that cause problems in relationships...because he is just so wonderful, and wonderful to me. He makes my rainy days end up shining with something he says. He makes me believe in myself, and he makes me feel good about myself in a way that I never knew I could. A few people have told me I'm rushing things...but I think they are silly when you find the one person who makes all the heartache of your past make sense, when you find the one person that it would seem wrong for you not to be with..well you see from right there the decision is easy, it's almost as if there is no decision to make. I have found who I want to be with for the rest of my life and I love him so much. I love you Jason.

This sums up how I am feeling so much...heard it on the radio today..:

Bubbly by Colbie Caillat

I've been awake for a while now
You make me feel like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying safe and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

It starts in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I going to say
When you make me feel this way
I just mmmmm

And it starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it stats in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
'cause you make me smile baby
Just take your time now
Holdin' me tight

Wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go

wherever you go
I always know
'Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while

I am getting really excited for school to start mostly right now because I can't wait to get back to Manhattan..I actually really love Emporia..I just feel more at home in Manhattan right now with all my stuff being up there and whatnot..plus time moves faster when I have class stuff to do...and I am wishing time would move faster right now...anywho I'm pretty excited because being the nerd I am with enrollment I played with my schedule again and I can pack all my classes into 2 days..get more hours at work during the week and be able to have more weekends off..which was uber exciting to me...I haven't had weekends off...well since I turned 18 actually...except for that like 2 months between working at Dillards and finding the job I had now..anywho random information in any case...I was really proud of myself work was prettty stressful today but I didn't let it effect my mood..I just forced myself to think about things that make me happy..which mostly just involved daydreaming about December which I seem to do oh so often now...sigh...December....it really has nothing to do with December but that, that is when my soldier comes home and it kept me in such a better mood all day long...I have decided that this is how I will survive these last few weeks of my summer job where I can see the end and start to get end of job blues...it worked today so I'm sure it will work for the rest of this week..One more week! ahh...them I'm out on my own again...with crazy roommates at my side lol...Well I really don't have much to say...and I'm proud I didn't complain very much in this post..I am getting better at that mostly just because I don't really have anything to complain about..I am 99.9% content with my life at present.....well kindof..the only thing that would make me uncontent is how much I want Jason home..but all in good time..anywho that is all I have I am going to go back to daydreaming or working on my schedule..most likely both..g-night all..